Things Left Unsaid
by anonymousauthor406
Summary: Increasing aggression from Macavity paired with the usual drama of the junkyard and his own relationship issues force Munkustrap to contend with himself in order to put everything right again. / Birthday gift for kathknight
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N:_** _As I said in the summary, this story is a birthday gift for the amazing, talented, and absolutely stunning kathknight. She told me a few days ago what her "perfect fic" would look like and I've done my damnedest to make that happen, and I hope it satisfies. Happy birthday darling._

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"So how are things going with Cassandra, Lonz?" Munkustrap asked as they made their way between mounds of junk on their way back to the main clearing. He knew they'd been trying for kittens for a while now, but so far to no avail. Anyone else and he would've approached the subject a little more gently, but he and Alonzo had been close from birth, which is why Munkustrap had chosen him as his aide and second in command, as well as the only person to whom he'd trusted the truth about his homosexuality.

"We've um… stepped up our game. That is, um… we've improving our odds. Uh…" Despite how close they were, Alonzo did always seem oddly prudish whenever the subject of mating arose. Munkustrap couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with Alonzo's knowledge of his sexuality, but he never entertained the thought long. He knew Alonzo better than that.

"Are you guys optimistic this time?" He asked as they entered the main clearing. As was to be expected after their afternoon rounds, they found the clearing bustling with activity. Tugger and his fans were off to the side, him chatting and flirting and them falling over his every move. Demeter and Bombalurina were chatting on the opposite side, and though she tried to hide it, Bombalurina was obviously keeping a jealous eye on Tugger. Skimbleshanks lay on the boot of the TSE1, and Mistoffelees on his pipe. Munkustrap's eye always seemed to linger on Mistoffelees longer than it should, but now wasn't the time to be thinking about that.

Alonzo let out a sigh and shook his head. "Cass is, but I'm not. She keeps getting her hopes up, but I've started to accept that it probably just isn't meant to happen for us." He buried his head in his paws and Munkustrap put a comforting paw on his back. There weren't many times when he didn't have just the right thing to say or some little known technique to help solve whatever problem had been brought to him. When those times did come, he hated them. He wasn't particularly controlling of other Jellicles (at least he didn't think he was), but he hated not being able to control situations. He hated not having just the right thing to say.

"This is going to sound really weird, but if it hasn't worked out before then, would you two consider adopting a kitten if someone finds one in need of a home?" Part of him was rather proud of his idea, but part of him felt like there was something off about it. He couldn't quite place what though.

"I'll talk to Cass about it, and while I think we'd both want to have our own, I think she'll be open to the idea."

"What about you Lonz? Your feelings on this matter just as much. You'd have to be the kit's father. Would you be willing to consider adopting if the need arose?"

Before Alonzo had a chance to answer their conversation was interrupted by a shriek from Demeter. "MACAVITY!" she cried out with a blood-curdling screech.

Both toms leapt up from the tire, Misto from his pipe, and Tugger from where he was reclining while the kits and queens scattered from the clearing. All four toms had their claws out and teeth bared as the ginger tom strolled into the clearing.

"My, my, my. All this fuss over me? I'm flattered. I really am."

"What do you want Macavity?" Munkustrap growled. His first urge was to protect Mistoffelees and Alonzo, but he knew that if he showed any hint of partiality towards the two they'd be the first ones Macavity would go after.

"That's no way to greet your brother, Munkustrap!" Macavity replied in faux disappointment. "And not a word from you either Tug? Why don't you just run away like that whore you call a mother?"

Tugger was on top of Macavity in an instant, tackling his half-brother to the ground and clawing and biting at his throat. He didn't have the advantage long, though. Macavity quickly managed to roll them over and pin him to the ground before raising his paw to strike what would indubitably be a deadly blow. Before he could, though, Munkustrap pounced and tackled Macavity off of Tugger.

The following moments were a flurry of claws, teeth, dust, fur, and blood. Tugger lay in the dirt still winded from his bought with Macavity. Alonzo and Mistoffelees looked for their chance to help the protector but he and Macavity were far too intertwined in their dance of death for either of the toms to be able to intervene. Neither of them could properly see what was occurring because of the dust and the speed at which blows were being exchanged. All they could do was wait. Wait and pray their protector would be alive when the dust settled.

A moment later the two toms separated, both badly injured. Macavity's red fur hid the blood stains, but from the way he walked it was obvious that Tugger and Munkustrap had given him quite a beating. Munkustrap, though, looked far worse for wear. His fur was matted with blood and he had several obvious and weeping gashes. Macavity looked at the four toms surrounding him, two of them down, the other two fresh and ready, and vanished in in a shower of sparks.

The two black and white toms rushed over to help Munkustrap, who had collapsed after Macavity vanished.

"Munk, are you alright?" Alonzo asked worriedly, fawning over him and assessing the damage. Mistoffelees meanwhile had held back when Alonzo rushed in, giving Munkustrap a very concerned look before going over to help Tugger.

"It's only a flesh wound. But it's gonna hurt like hell tomorrow…" he said with a forced chuckle as he tried to pick himself up. Alonzo caught him before he fell, and lifted him to his feet before beginning to lead him out of the clearing. "Wait. I have to make sure Tugger is okay." Alonzo nodded and helped him over to where Mistoffelees had seated Tugger. "You alright Tug?"

"It's really hard… to… breathe," Tugger wheezed before coughing. Seeing him in such a state placated Munkustrap and forced him to hold his tongue, at least for now.

"I think he cracked a few ribs, but I don't know for sure. I don't want to move him to Jenny's just yet in case something dislodges and complicates things even more," Mistoffelees said, looking at Munkustrap's own wounds with concern.

"Can you set them with magic?" Alonzo suggested.

"Well yes, but I'd have to know which ones to heal. Plus it won't really completely heal that kind of damage. I can set everything back in place and close open wounds, but the rest of the healing process is up to his body. It's not like a conjuring turn where I can just say presto and make something appear in my hand," he said, making a small vessel of water appear as he spoke. "Both of you need to drink. I'll go get Jenny, but I expect that water finished before I get back." He vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving Alonzo to help Munkustrap sit himself down and wait for Jenny. They sat sipping at the water in awkward silence, not wanting to speak to Tugger because of his pain, and not wanting to carry on a conversation without him.

Although he wouldn't say anything until after Tugger had recovered, Munkustrap was livid at his brother. Didn't he know he was playing right into Macavity's paws? The whole situation was under control before he attacked Macavity. Now they had no idea of what Macavity was after and after what had just transpired, he'd be out for even more blood than usual.


	2. Chapter 2

Mistoffelees returned promptly with Jenny and she began examining Tugger and Munkustrap. Tugger had cracked three ribs and broken one. Mistoffelees set them back in place as Jenny gave Tugger a long list of things he couldn't do for the next month while his ribs healed. When she was done, Alonzo helped him up and took him back to his den, and she and Mistoffelees turned their attention to Munkustrap.

After poking and prodding at him for a few moments, Jenny spoke. "Well, it appears you were right and these are all just flesh wounds. You're lucky. But you've also lost a lot of blood so you really need to take it easy for the next few days."

"I'll make sure he does," Mistoffelees piped up before beginning to close Munkustrap's wounds. Munkustrap flinched as the tears in his flesh began to close, sending extra jolts of pain through his body. "Sorry Munk… Probably should've warned you that it does hurt a bit more than letting them close on their own," Mistoffelees said gently, putting a comforting paw on Munkustrap's shoulder.

"Well I guess I'll leave you two to it, then," Jenny said, quietly noticing the familiarity of Mistoffelees' touch. "Come see me if anything feels worse, Munkustrap."

"I will, thank you Jenny," he replied. She nodded and gave a small smile before leaving. Munkustrap couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in her mood before she left, but he couldn't tell just what might have caused it. He had an idea, but he couldn't believe she'd been able to figure it out. Despite everything, neither of them had let down their façade for a minute. "Do you want to finish this in my den Misto?" Mistoffelees nodded and put his arm around Munkustrap as he helped him to his feet. Munkustrap put his arm around the tux to help keep his balance and they made their way to his den in the glow of early evening.

The moment they were inside Mistoffelees threw his arms around Munkustrap, pulled him in, and kissed him. Munkustrap relaxed into the tux's touch, putting his arms around him and holding him tightly and kissing back.

"Munk I was so scared," Mistoffelees said when he'd parted their lips. He buried his face in Munkustrap's neck fur and began to quiver and fight off tears. "I wanted to try to help but I thought I might hurt you instead and then after when-" His voice cut off and Munkustrap could feel him crying against him.

"It's alright Misto. I'm alright. Macavity's off licking his wounds. We're alright." He nuzzled Mistoffelees' head as he spoke. He'd been just as terrified for the tux's safety when Macavity appeared, but he knew that aside from potentially outing them, it would only make him a target for Macavity if Munkustrap showed any particular fondness towards him. That was even the reason he'd given the tux for keeping their relationship a secret. Only Alonzo, Tugger, and Victoria knew. Tugger was the first to know, but that was only because he was not only Munkustrap's brother, but Mistoffelees' best friend. Then Alonzo put two and two together since he knew about Munkustrap's sexuality, and after that it was only fair to let Mistoffelees tell someone, and naturally he told his sister. With his position in the tribe, anyone who wanted to harm them would certainly have reason to go after his mate. Not that they were mates of course.

That was the real reason he kept their relationship a secret. Sure he had feelings for Mistoffelees and certainly those feelings were strong, but did he really have to go around saying he loved him? He should know that. And as for being mates, he wasn't sure he wanted to let the tribe know about his sexuality. After all, if his suspicions were correct Jenny had somehow realized that there was something between him and Mistoffelees and that was what had put her in a foul mood. She was just one of Everlasting only knew how many that would judge them and look down on them. They'd question his ability to carry out his job as protector (though as to how they'd manage to spin his sexual preferences to make that claim, he had no idea), and possibly even get Mistoffelees and him exiled.

"I love you Munkustrap," the tux said, raising his head to kiss the grey tabby's cheek.

"I know tux, I know," he replied, turning Mistoffelees' head to face him and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He saw the tux blink back more tears and pulled him in close. "Do you maybe want to spend the night here?" In the course of their relationship, now in its second month they'd only managed to spend the night together three times, and even then the visiting tom had to sneak out before dawn so nobody would catch them. They'd not yet even properly mated. Bit of naughty touching here and there when they could sneak away for a moment alone, but nothing more.

Mistoffelees' expression transformed from obviously on the verge of tears to a sad but hopeful smile. "Really?" he asked shyly. He'd learned to accept that their relationship wouldn't be a fairytale romance. Even Tugger cuddled him more than Munkustrap did. There were many times when he genuinely wondered if Munkustrap wasn't just in it for the mating. But they'd never really gone through with mating. But in the entire course of their relationship he'd never yet heard Munkustrap say "I love you" back to him. But then there were these moments. Moments where he could feel it, even though he'd never heard it. Deep down part of him knew that moments like these were what kept other cats from walking away from mates like Munkustrap. Moments that convinced them that they were loved, even though they'd never been told. Maybe he was wrong to feel the way he did. Maybe he would end up hurt.

Munkustrap smiled down at him kindly. "Yeah. You know what? You won't even have to leave early. After everything that happened today, it wouldn't be hard to believe that you fell asleep here after hanging around to keep an eye on me." He brought his lips down to touch Mistoffelees' again when he'd finished, and the smaller tom melted into his touch.


	3. Chapter 3

When their lips parted Munkustrap had a brief moment while he debated his next words. Part of him thought it might not be the best idea to bring it up now, but then again when would they have the opportunity again?

"Misto… Do you want to mate with me tonight?" he asked, looking right into the tux's striking blue eyes. The words came out a bit more coldly than he intended but they got the point across. As far as he was concerned, mating wasn't something to be taken lightly. It may be a biological need and a physical desire, but it still was something that you only proposed to someone you cared for very much.

Without a flinch or a pause Mistoffelees gave his response. "Yes," he said nodding nervously. All of his doubts began to rise up again, but he forced them down. In that moment, with Munkustrap's arms around him and his rich chocolate eyes staring into him, he couldn't even fathom saying no. In the back of his mind the alarm bells were screaming, warning him of all the different reasons that it might be a bad idea to do what he was about to do. Hadn't he just been worrying that Munkustrap was only involved with him so they could mate? It sounded so cold when he'd asked. On top of that he'd be giving his virginity to Munkustrap. But he had one compelling reason to do so regardless of those alarm bells. He loved Munkustrap. He loved him and he wanted to mate with him. He pressed himself against Munkustrap and kissed him.

The grey tabby purred as he felt the tux pressing against him, and without parting their lips led him to and pulled him down onto his blankets. They stayed there, gently kissing and caressing each other, for a while, both a little nervous and unsure.

"Are you ready Misto?" Munkustrap asked gently, hoping to calm his own nerves as well as Mistoffelees'. He wasn't a virgin, he and Alonzo had tried it twice, but it had been longer than any tom would care to admit since he'd mated. He'd never asked Mistoffelees about his experience, not wanting to pry until the tux was ready, but now he was starting to question his judgment on that one. What if he _was_ a virgin? It wouldn't matter to him; in fact it would make it even more special to him that Mistoffelees would let him be his first. But if he wasn't, at least it would spare Munkustrap fumbling through teaching him how it all worked.

Mistoffelees nodded and climbed on top of Munkustrap. He wasn't sure exactly what to do next and hoped Munkustrap would take the lead. Obviously he knew the basic mechanics of how it all worked, but as for technique and courtesy he was completely lost. He instinctively began pressing his hips down against Munkustrap's, hoping it was something that other cats actually did, and leaned down to kiss Munkustrap again. "Munk… I…" his voice trailed off nervously.

"You're a virgin, aren't you Mistoffelees?" Munkustrap finished, sparing the tux from having to finish his sentence. Again Mistoffelees simply nodded his response, obviously very bashful. "Well then I guess I'll have to explain this to you…" as he spoke he caught a nearly unperceivable flash of some emotion across the other tom's face, but discarded it as nervousness. He was nervous enough as it was, having to teach Mistoffelees everything, all while wanting to make sure his first time was perfect. "Alright, so do you know if you want to top or bottom?"

"I'm not sure…" Mistoffelees replied sheepishly.

"Well you know what the difference is, right?" Munkustrap asked as gently as he could, given his nerves. Mistoffelees shook his head. "Okay then… um… well the top is the one who, you know… and the bottom is the one who…" he attempted to insinuate it with his hands, but Mistoffelees just cocked his head. "Right… um… I guess the least awkward way to explain this is to say the top would be the tom and the bottom would be the queen in a straight couple, at least in terms of the mechanics." He knew it wasn't really fair to assign the roles like that but it was the easiest way to explain who did what during mating.

"Oh, well, I guess I'll bottom then," Mistoffelees said in a nervous whisper, almost imperceptibly.

"Whichever you prefer, it doesn't matter to me," Munkustrap said, hoping to put his tom at ease. He ran his paws down the tux's sides, gently caressing the beautiful and toned body, assuming his touch would be comforting. All that mattered was that Mistoffelees enjoyed himself.

"I'm not sure I'm ready Munk, if that's alright," Mistoffelees said, obviously nervous but with a good bit of force behind it. There was something wrong about the way Munkustrap was acting, and there was something in the way he said it didn't matter which role he took and began running his paws all over him that just felt wrong. It made him feel like he was right when he thought Munkustrap was just using him. It was probably just that they were both more than a little tired from the day they'd had. Yes, that was it.

"I understand. You can still stay the night if you want," he replied calmly. He was a little disappointed at not getting to mate, but Mistoffelees' being comfortable and ready was far more important to him than a few minutes of mating.

"Thanks, Munk. Goodnight, I love you." Mistoffelees said before curling up against Munkustrap. He'd see if Munkustrap was still intent on mating in the morning. If he was… Mistoffelees wasn't entirely sure what he'd do. He loved Munkustrap and wanted to mate with him, but something about the way it was going just didn't seem right. His eyes feel shut and he fell asleep with his head resting on Munkustrap's chest.

Munkustrap looked at the sleeping tux and couldn't help but smile at how Mistoffelees could be so adorable, handsome, and beautiful all at the same time. The three previous times they'd slept together had proven to him how much better he slept with Mistoffelees curled up beside him. He put his arm around the sleeping tom and held him tight and said in a barely audible whisper, "I love you too Mistoffelees."


	4. Chapter 4

Munkustrap smiled when he awoke and felt the tux curled up beside him. He loved the adorable little expressions Mistoffelees made, and he couldn't help but wonder what he was dreaming of. He ran his paw through the tux's head fur, and let his eyes fall shut. More than anything he'd wanted before, he wanted to be able to open about his relationship with Mistoffelees. He wanted everyone to be able to see that he loved him. He sighed as he thought of all the reasons they couldn't though. He could deal with judgmental elders, he could deal with the tribe's shock. But what he couldn't deal with was putting Mistoffelees in harm's way, and openly being with him would make him a prime target for anyone who wished ill upon the tribe. For now, he could only show him how serious he was by the most intimate act he knew.

A few minutes later he felt the black and white tom stirring against him, and saw his eyes fluttering open.

"Good morning Misto," he said with a smile.

"Good morning love," the tux replied as he stretched the sleep out of his muscles. "How long have you been up?"

"Only a few minutes." Munkustrap paused, considering his words carefully. "Do you want to try again? I know you were nervous last night but…"

The rest of Munkustrap's words were completely lost on Mistoffelees. Something had broken inside him. In his mind his worst fears had come true. Munkustrap wasn't in love with him, he was just on some long mission to get him into bed with him. He'd preyed on his emotions and used them to get him to sleep with him. Part of him couldn't believe it was true of Munkustrap, of the caring tom that the rest of the tribe saw, but there it was.

"Shut up Munkustrap," Mistoffelees growled softly, pulling away from the tabby and standing up.

"What's wrong Mistoffelees?" Munkustrap asked, concerned. He'd never seen Mistoffelees like this. He couldn't comprehend what could've caused the tux to behave as he was. Whatever it was it was serious, and it had Munkustrap completely terrified. He lifted himself so he wasn't lying down, and could better see the tux.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Mistoffelees roared, fur all on end and teeth bared. He could see the fear in Munkustrap's eyes as sparks began to dance between his fingertips. Good. That bastard deserved to have the fear of Everlasting in him for using him like that and shattering his heart.

"Mistoffelees?" Munkustrap asked pathetically.

"Don't 'Mistoffelees' me! You used me you son of a pollicle! You knew I loved you and you used that so you could fuck me?" Tears flowed freely from Mistoffelees eyes. His stomach churned, and he felt like he would throw up.

"What are you talking about Mistoffelees? I-" Munkustrap's mind raced as he tried to process what the tux was saying.

"What? You're going to say you love me? Yeah fucking right. Couldn't be fucking bothered to say it one fucking time in the two fucking months we've been together, but now that it's getting in the way of you fucking me, you're going to fucking say it? Fuck you, you fucking bastard!" Mistoffelees could feel his whole body being consumed by rage. His heart hadn't simply shattered, it had exploded and now the shockwave of hatred was pulsing through his body.

Munkustrap had completely frozen now. He couldn't comprehend what was happening. Mistoffelees didn't think he loved him? He thought he was trying to use him?

"Oh look who's at a fucking loss for words now! Run out of fucking tricks to try to get me to fuck you? Good! Now you can go find some other poor bastard's heart to break! You know, I blame myself just as much as you. I really should have seen this shit coming. You didn't want to tell anyone because you were scared of what might happen? No, you didn't want to tell anyone so when you were done fucking me you could go on your merry way and no one but you and me would ever know what you'd done to me! Well you know what? Fuck you and fuck your entire fucking tribe! You care so much about what they think of you? Fine. Your fucking secret is safe with me you bastard." Mistoffelees vanished in a plume of black smoke before Munkustrap could speak a word.

Munkustrap sat there trembling. His whole body was numb. He couldn't think. He couldn't speak. He couldn't cry. All he could do was sit there motionless. Mistoffelees hated him. Mistoffelees thought he'd been trying to use him. Mistoffelees thought he didn't love him.

Slowly but surely the realizations began to sink in as his mind began to process what had just transpired. The tom he loved thought he'd been trying to take advantage of him. The tom he loved, and had loved him, didn't know that he loved him. The tom he loved and had loved him now hated him.

He didn't know how long he'd stayed there. He just laid himself down and stared at the wall of his den, and he stayed there until he felt himself being shaken roughly and smelt a familiar scent in the air.

"Munk? Munkustrap! Munkustrap!" The grey tabby turned his head and saw Alonzo kneeling beside him, a frantic look in his eyes. "Bast, Munkustrap you nearly gave me a heart attack! What's going on? Why didn't you answer? Where have you been?"

"What do you mean, where have I been?" Munkustrap managed to force out, suddenly finding his mouth and throat completely dry, and his stomach truly empty, as he rolled himself over to better look at the patched tom. He winced, finding every muscle in his body sore and unwilling to move.

"Munk… nobody's seen you since after the fight with Macavity," Alonzo said, voice full of apprehension.

"What of it Alonzo?" Munkustrap asked, roughly. Alonzo's eyes widened in fear as Munkustrap spoke. "What's wrong Alonzo?"

"Munkustrap… the fight with Macavity… that was two days ago."


	5. Chapter 5

Two days. He hadn't left his den in two days. He'd been lying there two days. Mistoffelees had left him two days ago. He would have cried if he could have. He tried to pick himself up, but couldn't and collapsed down onto his blankets.

"Everlasting Munk! What's wrong with you?" Alonzo asked fearfully, gently touching the grey tabby's face. His stomach churned as he felt how dry Munkustrap's fur and skin felt and saw his sunken, lifeless eyes. "Have… have you been here the whole time?" Without waiting for an answer he jumped to his paws and bolted across the den, finding the extra water Munkustrap always kept for emergencies. He brought the water back and wetted the tabby's lips, and allowing him small sips. "What happened Munk? You still haven't told me," he said, still obviously afraid.

"Mistoffelees…"

"What about him? Nobody has seen much of him either."

"He… he…" What little water Munkustrap had in his body was welling up in his eyes as he attempted to form the words. "He left me."

"Oh Bast… When?"

"The morning after the fight with Macavity. He… I… We…" He'd begun to choke on his words so he paused in an attempt to collect himself. "He was here, and then I must have said something because he just freaked out and started screaming at me, telling me I didn't love him and that I was using him." Any tears he'd been holding back broke free and streamed down his cheeks. His chest heaved as he sobbed and buried his head in Alonzo's chest fur.

Alonzo put his arms around him and ran a paw across Munkustrap's back, unsure of how to console him. He'd never seen him this way before. At some point or another he'd had to help pretty much everyone else and knew what to say, what they needed to hear, but this time he was lost for words, so he simply pulled the sobbing tom tighter into his chest and nuzzled him gently. He eased them down so they were lying on the blankets together. As he laid there comforting Munkustrap, his mind drifted back to the last time they'd been there together. He remembered laying there; curled up against the grey tabby, dreading the words he would speak, part of him afraid of how they'd hurt Munkustrap, the other part of him afraid for how they'd hurt him. If he was honest with himself, he'd known for a while that he wasn't gay, that it was only destined to be a fling between them, but he still loved Munkustrap, but as a brother, not a mate. He remembered how much it hurt him to say those words, how much pain was in Munkustrap's eyes. But it was nothing compared to what was before him. The creature laying beside him wasn't Munkustrap, but the hollowed out shell of the grey tabby that used to be Munkustrap. He couldn't fathom the pain his friend was in. It was obvious he hadn't eaten or drunk anything in two days, hell he probably hadn't moved either after Mistoffelees had left.

"What… What am I going to do Lonz?" Munkustrap finally managed, when his eyes had run out of tears. "I- I can't- I don't- without him I-" He couldn't finish his thought as his chest heaved. Nothing made sense. He had to get Mistoffelees back. Just one look at him had been enough to make his heart soar and his pulse quicken. Now it felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest, kicked across the floor, and trampled on.

Alonzo ran a paw through the tabby's head fur as he looked into his eyes. It wasn't something anyone else knew, not even Tugger or Deuteronomy, but despite his often stoic expression, if you looked into Munkustrap's eyes you could always see what he was truly feeling. There was always a glow to his emerald eyes, bright and shimmering when he was happy, soft and flickering when he was sincere, dancing and burning was he was angry, pale and sallow when he was upset, and twinkling and sparkling when he was in love. Now though, there was no glow. There was no light. Looking into his eyes was like looking into the abyss of a deep chasm. Mistoffelees had very nearly, if not completely, killed Munkustrap. He may not have done physical harm, but there was almost nothing left of the tom Munkustrap once was. Despite all the malice he now held towards Mistoffelees, Alonzo had a feeling he knew why he'd said the things he had. "You never told him, did you?"

"Told him what?"

"You know exactly what, Munk. Sure I might not have needed to hear it to know how you felt when we were together, but Mistoffelees isn't like me. He may be a lot physically stronger and powerful than he looks, but he's a hell of a lot more emotional than you and I are. I'll ask again, did you ever tell him you loved him?" Alonzo hated having to push Munkustrap like this, but he knew he had to and that Munkustrap would do the same to him if something happened with Cassandra.

"No," Munkustrap replied, unable to look at Alonzo. He didn't know what felt worse, the pain of Mistoffelees hating him, or knowing that he brought it upon himself.

"Look, Munk, you know I'm not blaming you here, but I need to know all the details of how this thing broke before I can help you fix it. What were you two talking about before he went off?" Again, he had a feeling of what was coming next, but he needed to know. Even if their own sexual past did make talk of mating a bit uncomfortable for him.

"I asked him to mate with me the night before, but he stopped before we really got into it. After we'd woken up I thought I'd ask if he wanted to try again, and that's when…" His voice trailed off as his body summoned enough water to bring tears back into his eyes.

Alonzo sighed, choosing his words carefully before speaking. "Look, Munk. I know what mating means to you. But Mistoffelees… obviously he doesn't. He probably feels the same way about it being something you only do with someone you really love. But if you haven't actually told him you love him, especially with all the secrecy around your relationship, it wouldn't be hard for him to come to the conclusion that you were using him, regardless of its mendacity." He paused, again considering his words. "Obviously you do love him." Munkustrap nodded. "Well then if you want to fix this, you'll need to prove it."


End file.
